All our lives, we have heard people say or tell us that words cannot hurt us but in actuality they can and they do. It especially happens when someone we love dearly or are close to, say things to us that penetrate our hearts but even worse our minds. I say that the mind is worse because I personally believe that our hearts can heal themselves but the mind is what we have to work harder at or surrender ourselves to some degree of healing or therapy beyond our own ability.
Can you imagine having someone you love speak to you with such a depth of hurt that it left you feeling empty or hopeless? Can you imagine being so fragile or sensitive that just one person speaking a narrative so negative or harmful to you, fracture you for what feels like a lifetime? Well I was once that fragile and sensitive person. I had heard so many hurtful things be spoken both to and against me, to a point that I had begun to believe the voices I had been hearing of those who were hurting me with their wounding words. I had allowed those words to shape my mind and heart to not heal itself but to destroy and tear itself down by acts and behavior of self-sabotage. This happened to me unconsciously and unintentionally because I had allowed someone else’s narrative of my life and me to shape my reality. Oh how I have learned the power of words! In Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV) it says “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” In this case it isn’t he… it is she because She was Me. I once wanted to believe that my heart was pure and in the right place but it was not because it was thinking the worse of my potential, my purpose and even more damaging… my heart was believing in what others were saying or thinking about me and not what God was speaking into and of me. I see now how wrong I was to allow this but I also did not know better. As a child when you hear how weird or different you are, you hear that difference as something to be rejected and not accepted so you accept what is being spoken to fit in or fall into the shape of others as I like to call it. At my age now and being a mother to two brilliant young men, I see an urgency in rejecting those narratives and shifting the shapes. I want my children to know that they have the right and authority to reject and rebuke anything unlike God or anything unlike their thoughts and dreams of themselves. I also both Understand and Over-stand the significance of Proverbs 4:23 (NIV) which says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” The Bible also tells us in Luke 6:45 (NIV) “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings out evil things out of the evil stored up his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”
I believe that there is a major difference in ones ability to be hurt by spoken or written words of others without the acceptance of taking on the shape of what is being spewed out of the evil and hate of others. Being hurt is a human emotion and right that each of us have but none of us have the right to evoke such egregious or evil actions onto someone else. People often think that being strong disqualifies one from the ability to be hurt. I greatly disagree. In fact, the closer I have gotten to God and have gone deeper into a spiritual consciousness, I have seemed to become more and more sensitive to life as well as to the people I allow to get close to me. Most people I know, think of me as an extremely strong and tough woman. Little do most people understand, my strength has come from the many battles I have had to endure at the dark past of my being broken down or fractured by enduring verbal and emotional abuse. Could it be that we often break others down with words because that is what reflects and resides inside our own mind and hearts? If everything we speak comes from the fullness of our hearts, then there has to be a correlation between the narrative of our hearts speaking evil which in turn shape-shifts into the lives of others then shifting the shapes of their lives.
Here is where my plea and prayer for us all would be to have a moment of solitude with the Lord so that we may be able to decipher the difference between His voice, Our own, and those with dark tones and intent. And when we are able to understand that the voices we hear should be reaffirming words of construction, potential and purpose rather than destruction and toxicity, we need to immediately reject that voice of destruction and toxicity. When we do this, we begin to destroy the very thing that wants to destroy us by shape shifting our lives in a downward path. God wants us up the mountain and not beneath it being crushed emotionally, mentally, physically or spiritually. Each day that we awake in this world, there lies a purpose and in that purpose I believe there is a promise but we will never get to the promise allowing the harmful words of others to shift the shape of our lives. So be kind to one another and teach your children to do the same. Ensure that everything you speak holds a light and gives hope to someone else. Let your words be seasoned with grace and be sweet like honey because when we speak harshly to others, we may never understand the depth of trauma or the levels of hurt that they may spend a lifetime trying to heal. Know that there is life and death in your tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and we should be speaking life into this world and those sharing ours. Your words do take shape so be sure that they are shaping the lives of others upward in rising!
May our lessons be plenty and our journey’s be joyous and beautiful!
God Bless 😘