An In & Out of Season Joy

September 22nd was the first day and start of my favorite season of all: Fall (aka Autumn). I was so excited to wake up that day because I love feeling the wind and the chill that comes with it, I love seeing the colors of leaves as they begin to change, and I love the inner feeling of warmth the season brings me. September 22nd was also a day that brought me so much joy and excitement as my best friend Whitney texted our "Framily" group thread aka "Destiny's Child" that she was somebody's fiancé and had said Yes. I later shared with her that I had been feeling in my spiritual gut that her longtime partner and the father of our precious Alani was going to propose to her. Her exact words were "Are you serious, you never told me." Funny thing is that I had fallen asleep earlier that night and was asleep during the hour her text came through but when I did wake up a couple of hours later, I couldn't help but be so elated for her. I told her that I already had my speech for the toast prepared and stored in my heart. The words that she responded with was "If I am getting married, you are too!" My rebuttal was "No ma'am, This is Your time and Season!"

See the thing is just like God knows my heart's desire, my friends know also how much I love the thought and actions of love. They know how much being married means to me. But I do not want just any ole marriage. I do not want a marriage that has no God, no love, no balance or unity in it. And more importantly, I have to know that this is not my time or season for marriage as much as I would love for it to be.

A few weeks over a year ago, I was granted a divorce from my first and only legal marriage. It was an extremely difficult, turbulent and eye-opening marriage. I learned a lot in and from that marriage and the greatest lesson I learned of all was that it was NOT my time or season. Although, I had accumulated much wisdom, had undergone a lot of healing and had accomplished many personal goals... I still had a long road of preparation and processing to undergo before I would be fully equipped and able to actualize my heart's greatest desire. Unfortunately though, during that season of my life I was too consumed with seeing others in their season of happiness and marriage to the point where I forced myself into that same season ill-prepared and ill-equipped. As much as I would love to say that I was ready for marriage... I was not. I was not fully healed and far from Wholeness in that time and season of my life and because I forced myself to go ahead of God and His instructions for my life, I ended up becoming severely wounded and drained trying to hold onto something God never gifted me with. In that season, I was barely happy for anyone else because I was suffering with being unhappy within myself.

When I share my story or stories with people now, I am often asked the question "How do you have and maintain such a joyful heart while you continue to suffer heartbreak and hurt?" My answer is usually always "God loves me so much and is so good to me that I have to fight on and keep the faith." I am sharing this life lesson and story with you all because I want each of you to understand clearly that I do not feel well or joyful every second and minute of everyday but I have learned how to celebrate and rejoice in the joy and blessings of others while in their season. I have also learned that there is joy in every day, in everything and in every season of life. Whether you have suffered loss or gain, there is joy in that experience. Whether it is rainy outside or the sun is out, there is joy in that day and environment. While seasons change, we too must change because the way we were born or raised is not always the way God made us. But as we face each day and grow in our many lessons, we should become more and more like God. Like me, I am sure there are many women and men that are desiring great life partners and spouses. Like me, I am sure there are many women and men desiring to start their own businesses and build wealth. Like me, I am sure many of you are praying for something to happen or for someone to change. What I would encourage you all to do is to hold fast to God and the promises or instructions He has given you to obtain your heart's desire. Heal, Grow, Shine, Love and have Joy in and out of season. It is my belief that there is beauty in every season just as there are reasons. So please do not allow time or our cultural trends to pressure you into feeling like you are running thin on grace or opportunities to seize. In God's perfect timing and in the right season... You will reap your harvest! (Galatians 6:9) Or should I say you will obtain your heart's greatest desire?!

May our lessons be plenty and our journey's be joyous and beautiful!

God bless 😚